The Real Housewives of Greene County

We are “The Real Housewives of Greene County.”  Maybe some of us aren’t housewives, maybe some of us aren’t even wives but I can guarantee we are all real!

If you are picturing glamorous women in stilettos and mini-dresses with perfect hair, make-up and nails then you caught us on a REALLY good day.  If you are picturing boots, jeans, bad hair day, no make-up and hang nails then you are right on target…I did say Greene County after all.

We just had a girl’s weekend – which is the inspiration for our first episode…

The Real Housewives of Greene County – Episode 1
“You can take the girls out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girls.”

Cue music, Jason Aldean, “She’s Country”.  Enter Melissa, Kristen, Ginger, Casey (she has different music – just sayin’) and yours truly, Megan.  Begin highlight reel…

Day 1:

• 1 SUV packed floor to ceiling with clothes, shoes, jewelry, make-up, accessories and a breakfast casserole (thank you domestic diva Ginger – I mean really who packs a breakfast casserole of all things)…for 2 itty bitty nights away from home.
• 1 really late start – thank you Kristen – you never disappoint.  2 McNugget meals split 4 ways, 6 phone calls from Casey asking why we are so far behind schedule, 1 driver named Melissa concentrating so hard that she missed all of the awesome/not so awesome details of our conversations.
• 1 mini birthday celebration - minus a gift from Kristen (sorry Kristen I had to), 2 filet mignons that looked like burnt pancakes, 2 free meals, 1 order of chicken quesadillas that Ginger pretended like she was eating, 1 winter coat strip tease to “Talk Dirty to Me” in the parking lot with high beam strobe lights, 1 very blonde girl videoing herself on accident, 2 girls on a luggage cart attempting to make it down the hall without using their feet/legs, 1 piece of cake that Casey was trying to save for later in the bathroom, smashed into Ginger’s face by Melissa (payback is a biscuit), 1 late night banana for Ginger…yum!

Day 2:

• 5 tired girls, 1 high maintenance diva in need of coffee, a LONG trip to Starbuck’s, OUTLET MALL, spend entirely too much time in Coach – including selfies, group photos and hugs for the employees, a ridiculous amount of money spent on sunglasses that should be cheap, uh oh Casey is hungry and we can’t find food, Megan refuses to lag behind for fear of bodily harm by Casey, the others venture into a store taking their life in Casey’s hands, 1 pretzel in the nick of time, Casey much more friendly, explosive diarrhea (guess who), 1 SUV full of bags, shoppers remorse, picture with loot.
• Hair, make-up, group pictures, off to find dinner, convince Casey to drive into downtown Williamsburg despite the fact that she claims it is the most boring place ever, she quickly turns around for fear of getting sucked into the black hole of nothingness, 1 stop at a bus stop where Casey tries to kick Megan to the curb because Megan is being bad in the back seat, group decision to eat at Carabbas, Melissa petrified to order the Fettuccine Alfredo for fear of a stomach ache, have no fear after much consideration she ordered it anyway, dorky idea to say what we most like about the person to our right, Casey looking to her right to a table of complete strangers (kind of shady looking) saying – “I don’t know a thing about them”, Melissa shedding a tear because of how much we love her.
• Pajamas, yes mine happen to have mini mouse and ruffles, yes all of my friends made fun of me, yes Ginger said her 4 year old daughter wants her pants back, yes my shirt and socks clashed horribly with my pants, yes Melissa just so happened to have a brand new pair of pajamas along with her new wardrobe that she bought specifically for this 2 day trip to Williamsburg, 1 bodily comparison session (no more details available), 1 picture of Megan that Melissa likened to Chester Cheetah – now Melissa lovingly calls her Chesta from that day forward (you bitch – love you), 3 girls in 1 bed, 1 girl sleeping, 1 girl still taking pictures of said girl sleeping, strange noise, 1 girl wakes up 1 girl sleeping asking “Did you hear that?”, 1 scared girl thinking that someone was picking the lock into our condo, 1 private detective, AKA Melissa, finding that the source of the break-in was Ginger’s birthday balloons scratching on the ceiling, 5 girls finally asleep.

Day 3:

• A few tears because it’s our last day, consolidating all of our loot, 1 last stop at the Outlet stores, 1 very old lady on a bench filling out job applications (broke my heart), 1 drive home, 1 serious conversation about life and babies, 1 serious conversation about the negative side effects of Miralax on children…The End.

Recap:

• I can’t put into words how much I love my friends.  They are my chosen family.  We laugh together, we cry together, we grow together, we learn together and we love together.  We keep each other honest, we keep each other humble and we are all better people because we have each other.  We have been through the darkest of times together and we have shared the happiest moments.  I will choose this family, and my actions will insure they choose me, today, tomorrow and every day thereafter.  I love you and that will never change.

This song reminds me of all of you.  Because you are "lovely" and I love you just the way you are!

Love,
Megan
AKA Chesta