Grandma Darlene

“Mom - why are you crying - that’s dad’s family not yours.”

I listened to her chase bears off the porch in her dreams, she taught me how to make cheese balls during the holidays, we talked birds, flowers and gardens, we sat and chatted for hours looking out the bay window to the mountains and drinking the tea she always had in the pitcher on the counter, we had a way of laughing together – I always loved her drama – the whirlwind she made over the smallest things – we would both end up hysterical,  we were backseat drivers on many a road trip –and she never forgot the porta potty, we’d walk through the garden and she’d show me her tallest sunflower, she’d point out her favorite goat, she’d turn her nose up at the cows – but even the animals she despised – she couldn’t help but love,  I’d smile as she enjoyed an ice cream cone or laugh when she drank beer for “medical reasons”, I’d cheer as she had a footrace with the boys, I so enjoyed my time with her.

I remember my last visit and the way her face lit up when she saw me.  She never said my name, she probably didn’t remember it, but she loved me – that I could see.  We walked around the yard, like we always did, just catching up.  She told me over and over again how much she liked the bright colors the boys wear, but no matter how many times she said it, I appreciated it every time.  She was repetitive by nature and the Alzheimer’s made her more so – but I always had the patience of a saint for her – because I adored her.

Darlene opened her home, her arms and her heart to me no matter the circumstances.  She was one of the greatest women I know and one of the people I have loved most in my life.  I have missed her and will continue to miss her dearly.  I will teach my boys, one of the greatest lessons I ever learned from Darlene, that family is not defined by boundaries and blood it is defined by love. 

“I am crying – because I miss my grandma - I love you Darlene.”