Give Me Your Forever

"He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day.  Choice: that was the thing. ~Sherman Alexie

I’ve got chills…I get them every time I read this sentence.  I came across it some time ago, saved it to my desktop and knew it would become a blog post someday.

Relationships are about love and choices.  You can love someone and make the right choices or you can love someone and make the wrong choices.  One of the saddest experiences in life is when you do love someone and you make the wrong choices.  Some of you may think: how do you love someone and make the wrong choices?  Some of you may assume that means you don’t love someone.  I think you can absolutely love someone, I think you can make the wrong choices and with those choices I think you can hurt yourself more than you have ever hurt anyone else.

Life is full of choices, opportunity and temptation.  That’s why the sentence above speaks to me.  It’s not enough just to love someone.  I tried to emphasize this in my “Show Me the Love” post from December.  You must love someone, you must show them you love them through your actions, you must prove you love them through your choices.

He loved her, he chose her, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year until they were each other’s forever.  I want to be someone's forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHzAVDg4m1Q

Choose Love,

-Meg

Be Ashamed to Complain

We all vent.  We all complain.  After all, we are all human.

 

I think excessive complaining is learned, it can become a habit and I would like to make sure it is something that I am not known for and that I don’t teach my children.

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen people look at a picture of themselves and just start rattling off complaints.  “Look at my arm – it looks so fat, look at my hair – what a mess, look at my ass – it’s huge.  Never mind that your fat arm is holding your beautiful newborn baby, never mind that you are lucky enough to have hair that can be a mess, never mind that your ass is standing in front of your fiancé who was down on one knee proposing to you.

 

My point is, there are more important things in life.  Don’t let your complaints overshadow what is important in life.  Before we complain we need to stop and count our blessings, we need to gain perspective and we need to realize that relative to many people in the world we are beyond fortunate.

I am humbled to the core when I witness the struggles and misfortunes that people live with and rise above.  There was a lady recently hit and killed by a drunk driver while on her morning run, this made me thankful for every exhausted step I have run since.  There was a man dining beside me in a restaurant in a wheelchair without the use of his arms or legs, this made me thankful for each bite of food I was able to feed myself and enjoy.  I have known women who are unable to get pregnant or have not been able to carry their baby to full term, this makes me thankful for every nauseous moment, ache, pain and discomfort of my pregnancies.  I have known people who have desperately wanted a family but are unable to have one, this makes me thankful for the minivan, the fighting matches, the mine field of toys and all of the trials and tribulations of being a mother.

If you wake up in the morning, count your blessings.  If you are able to have breakfast, lunch and dinner, count your blessings.  If you are able to drive to work and earn a paycheck, count your blessings.  If you have a place to come home to, count your blessings.  If you have a spouse, a child, a companion, a pet count your blessings.  You are blessed my friend.

 

Next time you find a complaint getting ready to slip out of your lips, bite your tongue and think before you speak.  Save the energy you would spend complaining and use it to work towards a solution.  

P.S. Nobody likes a perpetual complainer, especially when your complaints are unfounded, then you just come across as a whiny, self-centered, ungrateful human being.

 

Be thankful.  Be Happy.

Meg

Don't Judge Me

Self-right-eous
Having or characterized by a certainty, especially an unfounded one, that one is totally correct or morally superior 

Confession – I have a potty mouth and I occasionally blurt out obscenities and profanity.  If you are offended by this, please don’t read on, as this post is going to be uncensored.

You self-righteous mother fucker.  You have the audacity to judge me, to disrespect me and to publicly shun my family.  It’s time you dismounted that high horse of yours, dropped that holier-than-thou attitude and looked in the mirror.

What would you see if you looked in the mirror?  The mask you wear to hide your true self?

Let me tell you what I see when I look in the mirror.  I see someone who hasn’t always made the right choices, someone who has made mistakes, someone who may even have regrets.  I see a woman who is finding her way in life, who is giving it all she has, who is doing her best.  I sometimes see tears for a broken family, or aging parents or her children growing up too fast.  I sometimes see a smile for counted blessings, or kind words, or acts of love.  I sometimes see hollow eyes, from an empty soul, where anxiety and depression live.  I sometimes see a spark, for new adventure, for renewed faith, for being alive.  I see a woman, a friend, a daughter, a mother, a human.

I am human.  I am not perfect.  You are human.  You are not perfect.

With my imperfections,

Meg

Every Heart Has a Story to Tell

Once upon a time…nearly 33 years ago…a baby girl was born.  They called her Megan and so her story began.  Her life has been full of love, burdened with hate, blessed with births, lightened by laughter, pierced with pain, eased by forgiveness, but most of all it has been real, it has been true and it has been her own.

Each of us has a story, an epic autobiography, made up of all of our life experiences.  Some of us share our stories while others prefer to keep them quiet.  I have discovered that the more I share the more I learn and the more I learn the more I share.  My learning is twofold.  One, when I verbalize my feelings and share my story, I almost always learn something about myself.  This is critical to self-understanding, growth, and happiness.  Two, when I verbalize my feelings and share my story, I almost always learn something about someone else.  This is critical to understanding, compassion and empathy for others.

Everyone we meet has a story.  They may be standing in front of you today, disrespecting you for no apparent reason, but yesterday they may have held their loved one while they took their last breath.  Give people the benefit of the doubt, share, listen, learn and love.  Every heart has a story to tell.

XOXO,

Megan

My Little Jar of Happiness

Happy New Year!

“In this new year, may you have a deep understanding of your true value and worth, an absolute faith in your unlimited potential, peace of mind in the midst of uncertainty, the confidence to let go when you need to, acceptance to replace your resistance, gratitude to open your heart, the strength to meet your challenges, great love to replace your fear, forgiveness and compassion for those who offend you, clear sight to see your best and true path, hope to dispel obscurity, the conviction to make your dreams come true, meaningful and rewarding synchronicities, dear friends who truly know and love you, a childlike trust in the benevolence of the universe, the humility to remain teachable, the wisdom to fully embrace your life exactly as it is, the understanding that every soul has its own course to follow, the discernment to recognize your own unique inner voice of truth, and the courage to learn to be still.” 

― Janet Rebhan

I made a happiness jar for myself and the boys for 2014.  I can't wait to make it overflow.  I will share some of my greatest moments with you at the end of the year.

May all of your happiness jars burst at the seams in 2014!

Cheers,
Megs

The New Attitude - Gratitude!

Tis’ the season…for ungratefulness, entitlement, selfishness and receiving.  Oh wait, wait, wait…let me try that again…tis’ the season for overconsumption, credit card debt and pedestrians run over in the Walmart crosswalk.  Hmm that’s not quite right either…tis’ the season for stress, high blood pressure and panic attacks.

I know, I know…I sound so pessimistic.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas…BUT (you know whatever comes after the “but” is not going to be good) I have heard a theme coming from many people this year.  The theme is around gratitude or the lack thereof.

In the days leading up to Christmas my boys asked me, “Did you bring us a present today?”  In the days following Christmas my boys asked me, “Did you bring us a present today?”  The more they got the more than wanted.  I heard a mother say that her daughter counted her gifts and said, “6 gifts, you can do better than that.”  I heard a father say that his son was ungrateful because the gift wasn’t exactly what he had asked for.  I heard a coworker say that her children feel entitled.

Part of me says, “kids will be kids”, the other part of me says, “it is my mission to teach my children gratitude.”  So often we hear about focusing on the “reason for the season” and taking the emphasis off of presents.  It is so much easier said than done.  I think most of us are guilty of material gluttony at some point or another.

The older my boys get, the more I would like to open their eyes to the lives of people less fortunate than ourselves.  How eye opening would it be to go to a soup kitchen on Christmas eve or Christmas morning and see people with no family, no presents, no Christmas smorgasbord; some with simply the clothes on their back and their next meal in a bowl in front of them.

If any of you have heartwarming stories of thankfulness and gratitude expressed by your kids, please share.  If any of you have “heartcooling” (yeah I just made it up) stories of ungratefulness or entitlement, please share.  If any of you have ideas on how to nurture gratitude please share.

Counting My Blessings,

Meg  

Show Me The Love

As I read through my notes from “The Happiness Project” this quote jumped out at me.

“There is no love; there are only proofs of love.  

Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only my actions.”

-Pierre Reverdy

It is so important to align our actions with our feelings.  That is the only way others will truly understand how we feel.  Our inner feelings must be translated outwardly through our interactions with others and the way we choose to conduct ourselves in our day to day lives.

Throughout my lifetime I have looked into people’s eyes and listened to them pour there heart out, or at least what they claimed was in their heart, only to turn around and act in a way that clearly conflicted with their words.

 

This leaves me with many questions.  Does that person love me?  Does that person just say they love me?  What do their actions say about how they feel?  These are hard questions to answer.

Alignment is key to our happiness.  We must align our life with our faith, morals and values.  We must align our actions with our feelings.  To be misaligned hurts others, especially the ones you love.  But more importantly it hurts yourself, because if you can’t be true to yourself you will never be true to someone else, and you will rob yourself of the deepest, truest emotions and connections.

I wrote a post, "To Thine Own Self Be True", which is the foundation of being true to others.  I will do my best to make sure the ones I love know just how much.  I will hope that the ones that love me show me just how much.

As you live your life, think about the fact that nobody else can truly know how you feel, unless you show them.  Shape your actions, interactions, and words around your heart.

Much Love,

Megan